Shedding blood-red tears tonight....

....over the unfair, tragic demise of Monsters HD.


R.I.P. (2003-2009)

For reasons unexplainable (at least through my understanding), wonderful Channel 777 is now little more than a blue screen with cringe-causing words sprayed across: This Channel has Ceased Operations And Will No Longer Be Available. Now all I'm left with is painfully-inferior Chiller, Channel 168, and that's some bullshit. Inexcusably, Chiller has a programing hard-on for lame shows such as Freaky Links and not-even-worthy-of-DVD-rental, C-grade films the likes of Chupacabra and Voodoo Moon. Just stab me in the eye and get it over with, Chiller. The regular Tales from the Crypt reruns are Chiller's only saving grace.

Thanks to Monsters HD, I've been able to watch gems like The Monster Squad and Day of the Dead on cable television, uncensored. And that's a luxury I doubt I'll ever be awarded again. I was able to learn all about the history of EC Comics' Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror anthologies, and have the sexier-with-age Elvira "Mistress of the Dark" intro brief documentaries on icons of Stan Winston caliber.



And now its all gone. Lost in the shitty programmer oblivion.

If I had any beers left in the fridge, I'd twist a cap and knock one back in Monsters HD's honor. But alas, my kitchen is sans cerveza, so it's back to the DVD collection. Suspiria starts in T-minus ten minutes, followed by Alice, Sweet Alice and Halloween 2....just how Monsters HD would've liked it.

Once again, America's horror lovers get raped in the poop-shoot. "Well, there's always Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and The Uninvited on the horizon, right?" Whatever. If even one of those flicks ends up being anything other than exactly what I'm predicting, I'll voluntarily dress up like Elvira and stroll down Washington Street here in Hoboken. Shit you not.