Here's one for the laughs: Keanu Reeves as "Dr. Jekyll"

When I was a wee lad, picking out my choice costume for Halloween was more important than holding onto my entire-elementary-school-career-long Spelling Bee Champion title (and that was a belt I wore with pride and vigor). Even if the final decision was far from innovative (yes, I was Jason Voorhees one year, shamefully), I made sure that my incarnation stood out from the others. For Sir Voorhees, I dabbled on tons of fake-blood smears across the hockey mask and dipped my plastic machete in the same store-bought life liquid. Not exactly a visionary tweaking, but it was something, at least.

The proudest costume in my personal history, though, was the homemade Mr. Hyde get-up I whipped together during my eleventh year. You see, Robert Louis Stevenson's classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story was, and still is for that matter, a tale that I cherished, picking up copies in hardcover, pocket-size, kiddie versions, and whatever other versions Barnes and Noble concealed. My only gripe with the Jekyll and Hyde text, however: there has never been a good film adaptation in my lifeitme. Both Fredric March's iconic performance in the 1931 black-and-white version and Spencer Tracy's a decade later (each titled Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, naturally) are quality, but those was many moons before my conception; I'm talking a modern-day take on the tale that doesn't suck. To date, the top interpretation (and that word is used loosely in this case) is Abbott & Costello meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and that's only because my pops conditioned me to love the comedy of Bud and Lou. I want an actually-chilling 21st century Mr. Hyde on screen, though.



The source material is so ripe----a brilliant lab-man sips on a potion that unleashes his dark side, an inner madman that proceeds to murder. When word was announced a while back that Guillermo del Toro was developing a fantastical spin on the story, I felt content. del Toro can do no wrong in my eyes. But now, a second in-development Jekyll and Hyde has hit the news circuit, and this latest one is going to star Keanu Reeves......Keanu fucking Reeves?!?! Sigh squared. Yes, I love Bill & Ted as much as the next twenty-something, as well as Speed, but don't let anybody fool you into thinking that Reeves has the necessary acting chops to pull off the double-sided emotions of Jekyll and Hyde. There's a reason why I consider his emotionless alien role in that mediocre The Day the Earth Stood Still remake to be typecasting.

Reeves' film will be titled Jekyll, simply, and is said to be a "modern-day" update, meaning the original story's Victorian setting will be ditched for today's landscape. Sigh, again.

Let's see.....actors more suited to play this two-for-one character: Clive Owen, Sam Rockwell, and Michael Shannon, for starters. Keanu Reeves would place about 87th on my wish list. Sigh fucking sigh.

****In a lighter, much cooler change-of-topic, here's the first official poster for Neill Blomkamp's District 9, a film I've been writing about a bit here lately. It's a great, nice and subtle eye-opener for the flick, clearly delivering the film's "aliens are social outcasts" theme. And it makes me smile amidst that awful Keanu Reeves item.



Both bits courtesy of: Empire Online

The short film that spawned the great-looking District 9

Last week, I posted a new trailer for Neill Blomkamp's pseudo-documentary-style science fiction flick District 9, which anyone who has seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine in theaters has already caught on the big screen. District 9 has been high on my intrigue scale for months now, and is even more so atop now that the teaser trailer is out and about. And looking awesome, a profound, thoughtful, patient take on the same handheld camera conceit that Cloverfield kicked into overdrive so well.

After researching District 9 over the past week, to obtain as much info as possible, I've uncovered that the film, executive produced by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings mastermind), is actually an expanded, bigger-budgeted spin on Blomkamp's 2005 short film Alive in Joburg, a commentary on the Apartheid in South Africa set against the aftermath of an alien invasion. The government has forced the now-residential extraterrestrials into servitude, not exactly what the aliens came to Earth in hopes of. The ETs are looked down upon as smelly, unwelcome, and inferior. That opinion serving as a newfound line of commonality between once-bickering races and social classes, all at the expense of the unassuming aliens.

Blomkamp's short film is available on Youtube, thankfully, and it's quite good. Give it a look, it's hardly seven minutes long:


Now, for comparison's sake, here's the new District 9 teaser:


District 9 hits screens on August 14. I'll be there, possibly at a midnight showing if any are scheduled.

Character posters for my two favorite Basterds show their Nazi-killing faces

Per the script, these are my two favorite Inglourious Basterds. Quentin Tarantino's sure-to-be-insane flick comes out on August 21 (which can't get here quick enough), but screens first at the Cannes Film Festival in less than a month. Meaning, some reviews and feedback will hit the Internet, all of which I'll read, consume, get angry at for seeing this before yours truly.

X-Man Matt would have the power to invisibly transport into prolific directors' editing rooms to watch their latest films before anybody else. My name would be The Watcher.

Meet the Basterds: Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and Sgt. Donnie Donowitz (Eli Roth, the fella responsible for Cabin Fever and the Hostel films)



Spotted over at: /Film

Still no signs of Cobra Commander in this new G.I. Joe trailer.

And from what I've read and seen in forthcoming toy designs, Cobra Commander may very well look rather shitty. At least there'll be a great actor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, underneath the mask.

Today's trifecta of new trailers concludes with this healthy serving of G.I. Joe footage, neatly packaged for your pre-Wolverine viewing pleasure. I'm really expecting G.I. Joe to be a massive fecal pile, but a totally entertaining one. Which, essentially, will disprove that old adage, "You can't polish a turd."

Very little of what's seen reminds me of my old G.I. Joe action figures or the cartoon, except for Snake Eyes, who looks pretty wicked here. But the effects and setpieces are winning me over, and I'd never realized how fine Sienna Miller is until she appeared with that black hair. Come August 7, this'll make for a great option for some quick Friday night escapism before the booze starts a-flowing.

The latest Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer....

.....is here, since I've posted every other video related to this flick to date. Might as well stay on track.

And, yes, this one looks just as awesome as the previous vids. A midnight screening will be attended.



Am I the only one who thinks John Turturro's character is annoying as all hell? The guy is clearly having a good time playing a role he realizes is disposable in a film about giant robots, but I'm still hoping that The Fallen snaps him in half before the Hour One mark.

District 9's trailer promises to prove that ETs are terrible at obediency

A couple of years back, Peter Jackson, filmmaker extraordinaire responsible for the Lord of the Rings franchise, came oh-so-close to cranking out a movie based on the Halo video games that have shattered relationships and turned men of all ages into social-life-deficient hermits. His plan was to produce the film and hire Johannesburg, South Africa, native/visual effects veteran Neill Blomkamp to direct, and I'd imagine it would've been a visual spectacle like none other. An inflated budget and other setbacks came into play, however, and the project was put on hold longer than me when trying to call Cablevision.

As a sort of consolation prize, Jackson stayed true to word of wanting to work with Blomkamp, and the producer/director pair is ready to unleash District 9 this summer, the first trailer materializing today just in time for X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Since it'll be playing before Wolvie, expect this trailer to kickstart a whole mess of speculation and feverish buzz all over the Internet. One place, of course, being this here blog. Little is known about District 9, but here's what is available: there's this race of aliens held on Earth under human control and forced to live in "slum-like conditions" while "being exploited as a workforce." Naturally, when you try to keep a bad alien down for too long, the proverbial shit shall hit the fan. All of this is shot in what appears to be a spin on cinema verite (think Cloverfield but less shitty-camcorder quality).

Check it out. No stars, very little set-up until now. Lo-fi, but not really. If you're like me, District 9 is now generating tons of excitement:

Eminem's "3 A.M." video trailer falls into the "horror" category, I guess?

Typically, I try to leave my music/hip-hop POVS off this site, mainly because I spent nearly four years of my post-college-life covering those and I'm trying to open a brand new bag. But every now and then, a project or a song comes along that demands notice, such as this new upcoming Eminem album, Relapse. Mainly because Em has always been the most intriguing, repeat-listenable, and (obviously)greatest rapper of my growig-up-around generation, and his last album sucked so hardcore that I've been waiting five years for the guy to come back and exonerate.

As far as the songs heard from Relapse so far go, unfortunately, the guy is 0-2. His next video/sort-of-single, "3 A.M," has me a bit excited, though, mostly because the snippet I heard, while short and a bit incoherent, sounded much darker and anarchic than those two other records. Now comes news that its uncensored video will make its worldwide debut on Cinemax (a first for the cable channel) this Saturday at 10pm, right before the network premiere of last year's great little horror flick The Strangers. Making me believe that the video's tone is somewhat in line with Bryan Bertino's The Strangers, which in turn makes me happy. There's also this brief trailer that proves my suspicions in ways:



I'll be tuning in, no question. The full version of "3 A.M.", which I've just discovered on good ol' Youtube, is something of a bloody mess, but at least we'll get a video with some WTFness that'll be miles away from the sheer laziness of "We Made You." Part of me thinks I should like this "3 A.M." more than I do, but it's not clicking. We're given a couple more unnecessary, tired celeb namedrops (Hannah Montana and, for the second time now, Kim Kardashian), and what once would've felt creative and striking (Em playing the role of unaware serial killer) here seems like a stretch. The beat, presumably Dr. Dre, actually works, though. Sounds like a comfortably macabre "Eminem Album: Track #2."

The full song:


I'll be posting the full video once its available online, to bring this post home.

Jennifer Lynch's Hisss trailer debut

I'm growing to become quite the fan of Jennifer Lynch, daughter of the always-provocative and fascinating David Lynch. Any seed of Sir David is at least worth some consideration here, since I love all of the guy's films, even the ones that frustrate me with their intricacies and goodbye-to-making-sense abandon. Jennifer Lynch proved herself a week ago, though, when I popped in a screener copy of her upcoming, limited-June-release Surveillance, a table-turning serial killer mystery. Surveillance, despite having a few notable flaws, is thoroughly entertaining and quite sick in spots, a potboiler that I plan on rewatching with rapidness. I'm going to discuss the film here closer to its June release.

The trailer for Jennifer Lynch's Surveillance follow-up, Hisss, has just debuted over at Twitch Film, and man is it striking. Features some rather wild special effects work from Precinct 13's Robert Kurtzman, and enough tense, sinister atmosphere to bottle up, pour over the grave of Alfred Hitchcock and stage a resurrection.

Hisss is a fictionalization of an "the ancient Eastern myth of the snake woman who can take on various forms." [Bloody Disgusting]. Give this badboy a look, it's something else (pay particular attention to the amazing snake woman effects):



Trailer premiered at: Twitch Film

Spotted over at (where a more in-depth synopsis of the film also appears): Bloody Disgusting

The Lovely Bones really is coming out....it's about time.

It's been a crazy week or so, figuring personal things out, getting stuff situated. But I'm back and ready. And, hopefully, with less horror-related posts than in recent weeks, just for diversity's sake. There's more to my viewing habits than just the scariness. Though, I'll be buying Martyrs tomorrow (finally!!!), and a long-winded post about that long-awaited flick is inevitable, and rather soon-coming.

The news that has brought me back to this blog full force is that the awesome Empire Magazine's new "20th anniversary" issue has in it, amongst tons of other goodies, a few new stills from Peter Jackson's forthcoming adaptation of Alice Sebold's popular novel The Lovely Bones. Jackson (of Lord of the Rings fame, of course) has gone back to his Heavenly Creatures days with this film, and that's much more exciting to me than the guy doing another huge spectacle, a la Lord of the Rings (call me crazy for that). I'm under the opinion that Heavenly Creatures is the man's best work, but naturally I'm more prone to love dark, intimate fare than the blockbusters.

As for The Lovely Bones the novel, I really liked it, but didn't love it. The story captivated my attention more so than the actual writing, which is impressive but loses some steam a few chapters in. The first 20-or-so pages of the thing fly by, introducing one hell of a depraved tragedy and setting up the main character's, 14-year-old "Susie Salmon," plight: after being raped, murdered, and dismembered by a neighborhood pedophile, Susie can only look down from heaven as her grieving family and friends try to move on with their lives, unsuccessfully, while she also watches her killer's world carry on under growing public suspicion. Partially taking place from her point-of-view in heaven, partially within the moving-forward real world that her death has left behind. A few sections of Sebold's novel drag, unfortunately, but the story is established with such initial force that it's damn hard to give up on the book as things plod along. The payoff is a bit too cutesy for my liking, but still satisfactory enough.

Originally, Jackson cast Ryan Gosling as Susie's father, a central character here and a role that requires massive dramatic chops. Gosling dropped out early on, though, and Mark Wahlberg came on his replacement. At the time of the news, I was all for this; I've long thought that Wahlberg is a better actor than he's given credit for, and The Lovely Bones is the perfect vehicle for the guy to reclaim some respect. Of course, this was before I saw that steaming pile The Happening, and the less-steaming but still a pile Max Payne. Now, who the hell knows what Marky Mark is going to bring to Jackson's table.

Check out his sweet '70s hairdo:



The rest of Jackson's cast is eclectic but all skilled: Saoirse Ronan (Oscar-nominated newbie, from Atonement) as "Susie," Susan Sarandon as her high-maintenance grandmother, Rachel Weisz as her adulterous mother, Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos' "Christopher Multisanti) as the detective on the case, and Stanley Tucci as her pedopiliac killer, "George Harvey."

Saoirse Ronan, as "Susie Salmon"


Stanley Tucci, as "George Harvey"


The Lovely Bones hits theaters on December 11 (after several release date pushbacks), just in time for awards season.

Stills from: Empire

Official H2 trailer is upon us.....

The last few posts in a row have been horror-related, I just noticed. I'll be mixing it up a bit more next week, though.

Just the other day, I whipped up a post commenting on the shitty-quality teaser trailer for Rob Zombie's H2 that premiered on Entertainment Tonight, so, rather than offer reptitive thoughts here, I'm going to simply let this new, full trailer for the film show and prove on its own merit.

Enjoy (I'm not in love with this, but I don't hate it, either. Tons of twisted, hellbent atmosphere to be had, and this definitely proves that Zombie is taking Michael Myers into all-new, slightly supernatural territories, as seen by Mrs. Myers' presence. But Dr. Loomis? Must be flashbacks, because he clearly died a nasty death at the end of the last film. But anyway.....):

Piranha 3D cast begins rising to the surface

Even though I hated French-bred writer/director Alexandre Aja's last film, the catastrophically-flawed Mirrors, I'm not counting the guy out just yet. How could I? When you're first two films are 2003's brutal Haute Tension (or, High Tension) and 2006's superior The Hills Have Eyes remake, you've earned a degree of carte blanche in my book. I'll continue to ignore the fact that Aja produced that absymal "nail in the coffin housing Wes Bentley's career" P2 and focus on Aja's directorial catalog, by the way.


Alex Aja

The biggest truth that Mirrors proved was that Aja is much better when dealing with visceral gore and exploitation revisions; Mirrors had some of that gore (which was foolishly spoiled on every poster and in every commercial), but showed how sloppily Aja handles the supernatural. He tried going a more accessible route, and you can't knock the guy for that, but let's hope he leaves that in the past. At least for the time being.

His next project, however, is one that I'm psyched for.....Piranha 3D, a remake of Joe Dante's 1978 sleazefest that offered little more than killer piranhas gnawing on nubile young flesh. Exactly what a film called Piranha should be. This feels like exactly the right kind of film for Aja to redeem himself with----amp up the bloodshed and underwater dismemberment and blast the limbs in our faces thanks to this new 3D technology, and deliver a Jaws-on-acid for a whole new generation. May 2010 can't come soon enough.



Over the last week or so, casting for Piranha 3D has begun, and so far the lineup is completely random, and quite awesome. First, '80s goddess Elisabeth Shue (The Karate Kid, Adventures in Babysitting) signed on to play "the role of Sherrif Julie Forester, a take-charge authority figure in the community of Lake Victoria - where the action/ankle-biting takes place." Then, days later, Adam Scott, who was so great in Step Brothers and is currently anchoring the wonderful comedy series Party Down, joined the project as its male lead "Novak, a diver for the US Geological Service who helps discover the piranha outbreak." And earlier today, Ving Rhames was confirmed as the third lead, and a rumored Richard Dreyfuss "Jaws-referencing" cameo was also proven to be legit fact.

Elisabeth Shue

Adam Scott


An immensely cool, likeable cast. Alexandre Aja back in gore-heavy form. Killer piranhas nibbling at hot chicks in bikinis. Yeah, Piranha 3D is going to be total Summertime escapist glee.

Trailer for the 1978 original:


News learned over at: Shock Til You Drop

and Bloody Disgusting

I'm anticipating the third Twilight film now.....my God!

As defiantly as I've been resisting the Twilight film and all of the lore surrounding author Stephanie Meyer's teenybop vampire franchise, I've been unable to shake the feeling that I'd one day give in and give the film a look. Initially, I feared that my general love for horror and bloodsuckers would leave me feeling incomplete without tasting the lowest-common-denominator. Then, suspicion turned to a much more "dating world" direction, and I began thinking that one of these date-nights the girl would suggest renting Twilight, and I'd be powerless by said girl's sexiness that I'd submit and watch Robert Pattinson's stone-cold screen presence.

Never did I think, though, that a filmmaker that I'm very fond of would attach himself to the franchise and that would be the reason I joined the Tiger Beat side. Yet, that's exactly what has happened, with the announcement today that director David Slade will be handling the third film in the series, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Supposedly, Eclipse is the darkest and meanest of the lot, and requires a filmmaker with more edge than most.



Erik Feig, Summit Entertainment's President of Production: "Stephenie Meyer's ECLIPSE is a muscular, rich, vivid book and we at Summit looked long and hard for a director who could do it justice. We believe we have found that talent in David Slade, a director who has been able to create complex, visually arresting worlds. We cannot wait to see the ECLIPSE he brings to life and brings to the fans eagerly awaiting its arrival in summer of 2010.”

Slade has proved his sinister sensibilities with the awesome twosome of Hard Candy (where Ellen Page's best performance can be seen....sorry, Juno) and 30 Days of Night (what a vampire film should be....sorry, Twilight), so on the surface this makes sense. But the vibe I've gotten from Slade via his interviews and taste in subject matter has never been in the same vicinity as Twilight, other than the obvious "vampire" thing. But the vamps in 30 Days of Night spoke broken English and conducted mass homicide with zero remorse; Twilight's loverboy vamps would be scared shitless of them. Odds are, dude was offered a truckload of money, and that, on top of the guaranteed box office mayhem that the film will inspire, screamed louder than any pride. Can't knock the guy's hustle, though.


David Slade

I wonder if Twilight fans realize just how impressive of a filmmaker they've got for this Eclipse installment. Probably not. They were nearly given Drew Barrymore for Eclipse, so they should be counting their lucky Edward Cullen (that's his name, right?) posters that Slade is the final choice. I won't even begin to discuss how different stylistically Slade is from Barrymore, and how Eclipse clearly doesn't have a distinct tone in mind if you consider this 180-degree shift in filmmaker. Juan Antonio Boyaga (director of the great Spanish ghost tale The Orphanage) was also rumored to be close to signing on to Eclipse, and that choice was a bit closer in tone to Slade.

Let's get one thing clear, though: I'm not saying that Slade is Scorcese or anything. He's just a talented, somewhat-new director who has already cranked out two films that I love, so anything he gets his hands on is worthy of my time. Yes, even if its a Twilight film. The way Hard Candy commands attention and dishes out suspense in bountiful amounts despite being limited to a simple one house setting is seriously impressive, and the utter bleakness and striking nighttime visuals of 30 Days of Night look better with each viewing. The guy has chops. Ironically, it was only a couple days ago that I was wondering just what Slade would tackle next. Who knew it'd be this, huh?

And to think, I was this close to avoiding this franchise altogether. Now I just need to find a lovely lady to watch Twilight with me. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

One thing that should be made clear: I'm not expecting anything in Eclipse to even approach the level of awesomeness seen in this 30 Days of Night highlight. This is Slade at his best:


News learned over at: Ain't It Cool News

Some closure to the Trick 'r Treat saga?

Letting that one great girl slip through my fingertips due to my uncertainty of "Am I ready to invest total energy into a relationship right now?"? Nope. Not bailing out of my workplace early enough to jump on open positions elsewhere, pre-industry-wide-hiring-freeze? Close, but not quite. Each of those personal follies had no definite resolution if I had chosen the other path. Romance could've flourished for months with her, but it could've just as easily faded away without warning. And that industry was/is so fucked that the same outcome from my former spot could've happened anywhere else. Those are mistakes that I can't dwell on much.

My biggest fuck-up of 2008, however, did present itself with a neat, closure-offering endgame, and I blew it. I would've been one of the lucky few to catch an early look at one of the most anticipated and critically-beloved American-made horror films of the last decade. But, no.

Through Fangoria magazine's website, I got myself on a list for a free Trick 'r Treat screening in downtown Manhattan back in October, and I was ecstatic. Impatiently awaited the big day for over a month. Kept re-reading every early review of the Michael Dougherty-written/directed horror anthology, smiling and giddily reacting to every fawning ounce of praise and declaration that Trick 'r Treat is "the best Halloween movie of all time." Better than John Carpenter's Halloween, they say, and a better anthology film than Creepshow. Add on the fact that pussyfooted Warner Bros. has held the film captive for about two years now, unsure how to release and market the thing when they should've just released it in one of the last two Octobers and called it a day, and everything surrounding this film had me mega-amped to see the thing.


Notice the release date on the poster: October 2007.....yeah, not quite.

On the long-awaited day (October 13, 2008), I exited the office early. Hopped on the 1 train. Arrived in the theater's neighborhood with an hour to spare before showtime. Nobody waiting outside the theater in tightly-packed procession yet. Should I be the first, front and center? Snag the best seat in the house? Would've been brilliant. I was starving, though, so the sight of a Subway prompted me to feed the beast. I figured, "There won't be that many people at this screening, so I can get there 20 minutes beforehand, no problem." There was a long line at Subway, of course, so by the time I ordered and consumed my 'grilled chicken breast on whole wheat bread, with chipotle dressing" dinner, it was 25 minutes until the movie started. Fuck, I thought, I better hustle. I turned the corner, and my mouth dropped-----there was a line down the block about 60-people deep to see the shit, and they had already started letting people into the venue. My balls were kicked. Hopes, dashed. There wasn't a chance in Hades that I was getting in ("first come, first seated"). My one chance to see Trick R Treat with a crowded audience, the way it's meant to be experienced, was botched. All because I was hungry and couldn't resist the allure of a $5 footlong. Fuck you, Jared.

At first, I was ready to bring the fury down on the douchebags at Fangoria who confirmed RSVPs for upwards of 100 people when the theater only seated about 60. But then I only blamed myself. I've never looked at a bread guest-starring-meat sandwich" Subway sandwich the same again.

Until now, when I, or any other horror/film fan in the know, would ever get to see Trick 'r Treat was uncertain. Warner Bros. press releases repeatedly flirted with the notion of a straight-to-DVD release, only to then renig and tease with a possible theatrical run. The latest news, though, feels somewhat locked-in, and that's the semi-announcement this week that Warner Bros. will release Trick 'r Treat on DVD/Blu-Ray this October. A theatrical release to coincide with? Doubtful, but you never know.

Here's the new trailer:



October can't come soon enough. And please believe, I'll be checking Fangoria's website on a daily basis to see if another free screening is scheduled. Second time's a charm.

Trailer and news from: Shock Til You Drop

Thousands of patient, loyal fans are about to get their just due.....

It's about damn time, huh? Finally, after years of false release dates, widespread fanboy blue balls, bittersweet nostalgia, and a ever-growing support base, MTV's cult sketch comedy series The State is hitting shelves in DVD format on July 14. A five disc set bringing Louis and his gold balls, Barry and Levon, the Prodigal Toothbrush, and every other hilarious skit together, at last. This overlooked gem of a comedy show only aired for two years (1993-1995), but has slowly built a faithful legion of lovers over the course of 14 years. No easy feat there. .



The State's alumni members have gone on to quietly strongarm modern-day comedy: directing the films Wet Hot American Summer and Role Models (David Wain), creating and starring in Comedy Central's Reno 911! (Thomas Lennon, Ben Garant, and Kerri Kenney), writing Night at the Museum and its upcoming sequel (Lennon and Garant, again), starring in Starz' new hands-down winner of a show Party Down (Ken Marino), stealing every one of VH1's "I Love the Whichever Decade" specials (Michael Ian Black), and a slew of other accomplishments. Who doesn't love Joe Lo Truglio in Superbad ("The tiger got outta the cage, man!"), or even Pineapple Express? Yup, he's also from The State.




Any time one of these post-State jobs is discussed amongst friends, I namedrop the respective funny-person's original home, but I'm routinely met with blank stares and disinterest. Save for some cousins and one of my friends (Ms. Cendra, if you're out there reading this), not one person I know can cite their favorite skit, and that's a shame. Will this new DVD set change that? Can a new crop of viewers be won over? I'd like to think so, but the end result is ultimately meaningless around here. I'm just happy that I'll have the entire series in my possession, rather than strolling down memory lane in Youtube's clip-heavy car.

My fondest memory of The State: staying up late with my Uncle Greg to watch the episodes in their first runs, his disregarding whatever babysitter rules he should've been following ("Put the kid to bed by 11pm, the latest") so we could watch Louis interrupt the Last Supper to dip his balls into something, to laugh our asses off as a grade school staring contest is ante-upped with the presence of a dude in full clown makeup. One of the happier memories of my adolescence, no doubt.

Here's a sketch that the cousins and I used to quote like we were being paid to do so:


True story, I actually did own a "Best of" The State VHS back in high school, but I gave it to the girl-of-my-high-school-dreams, a gift of personal romance. I figured, what better way to leave a permanent impression on this girl for when after our blossoming thing evaporates than to bestow her with something we mutually find hilarious despite our friends' lack of mutual enjoyment? Her heart went a-flutter, then she broke mine, and I was never able to watch "Porcupine Racetrack" again. Talk about your all-time backfires.

Come July 14, though, it'll be full-circle time.

First learned over at: Chud

First clip from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

A film that I've gotten into several arguments over is Michael Bay's gargantuan 2007 smash Transformers. It's a bit ridiculous that a special effects, eye candy extravaganza from Sir Blows-Shit-Up Bay would cause more debate than other recent films that I love, such as, say, Synecdoche, New York, but such is the reality that I live in (tons of film-likers in my world, not enough cinema-lovers). Some heads get mad at me for loving Transformers as much as I do, giving me that old "You should know better than not" jive. My defense is, and always will be: It's a movie about giant alien robots duking it out on Earth's soil. Why shouldn't it be loud, shiny, and style over substance. Call me crazy, but I feel that Bay accomplished exactly what he set out to do with the film, and in that respect it shouldn't be seen as anything other than a creative success.

All that being said, it should come as no surprise that this summer's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is high on my Must-See Summer Movies list. Especially when I take into account that Bay considers this sequel to be much darker and aggressive in tone. The first trailer that surfaced a couple months back looked great, and now we have our first official clip from the film, courtesy of Bay's own personal website.

I came across this clip, which concludes in a blistering montage of action shots from the film, over at /Film, and now I'm presenting it to all of my fellow Transformers-fans-in-waiting. We get Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf) having a "heartfelt" chat with his old pal Bumblebee, while Sam's girl Mikaela (Megan Fox, though that goes without saying) strips down to a short white miniskirt. But the real goods here (other than Fox's stems) are the clips after this scene. Check it for yourselves:



Come on....how could anyone not love that?

Clip originally from: MichaelBay.com

I first saw it over at: /Film

The first look at Rob Zombie's H2 is among the Internet community

Rob Zombie's H2: The Devil Walks Among Us (or just H2, not sure which title is the end-all, be-all one as of now) is in the can and ready for an August 28 street date, and Entertainment Tonight *sigh* was the first outlet to show footage from the film's teaser trailer. When the ET-less, high-quality teaser will surface is anybody's guess (I'm guessing sooner than later, though), so this is all we've got for now. And I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised with what I'm seeing:



The horror community has been in a minor frenzy over several non-Halloween-esque changes Zombie has made to the mythology in this sequel, all of which he's voluntarily and enthusiastically announced via Myspace blogs. Two of the most alarming:: the choice to show hallucinations that Michael Myers has of his dead mother, and altering that legendary William-Shatner-inspired white mask into a few new looks, including a ripped-up Terminator/cyborg-looking model, a blood-smeared version, and then removing the mask altogether to show actor Tyler Mane's grizzly, "Rob Zombie himself on steroids" face.

I, like most others, was feeling iffy about these tweaks, but what I'm seeing in this footage looks pretty solid. That ripped-face mask seems to work (as seen in that mirror shot), and I'm liking the homage to 1981's Halloween 2 with Myers hacking through hospital employees while Laurie Strode is recovering from her hellish night. Falls into line with Zombie's original Halloween remake, condensing the its entire predecessor into one act and then running creatively wild with the rest. In on-set interviews, Zombie has openly acknowledged how uneven his Halloween was and taken full responsibility. He says that H2 has been a relief because he's been able to do whatever the hell he wants, free from the shadow of John Carpenter to fully capture a 100% Rob Zombie vision.

We'll see if that's a good thing or not. I've grown to like his Halloween more and more since its 2007 release; it's still flawed beyond measure and the stuff in Haddonfield with Laurie Strode is only saved by Danielle Harris' brave but too brief performance, but there's so much goodness found in the "Michael Myers' origin story" section that I can't help but dig the film as a whole. It remains, if nothing more, a rather intriguing experiment in remaking horror.

There is one thing about this footage that I'm not feeling, however, and that's what appears to be end of Danielle Harris' "Annie" character. It's not looking good for my girl. Not that I'm expecting her to survive this sequel or anything. A guy can hope, though, right? The odds of seeing Harris back on the big screen any time soon after H2 is slim to none, sadly, so the more would be the better here. My guess, she's buys it within the first 30 minutes. Womp to the womp.



To paraphrase my favorite song of the moment: "She's the best I never had, the best I never had, the best I never had."

The Girlfriend Experience with Sasha Grey.....who wouldn't want that?

Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience is a film that's been talked about and quietly praised since its out-of-nowhere debut at January's Sundance Film Festival. Soderbergh must not have slept for more than about 12 hours total over the last year, between finishing up his four-hour epic Che and then somehow squeezing in the time to complete this, a much more lo-fi, intimate film. You have to hand it to a guy like Soderbergh----he's a truly dedicated filmmaker, one who clearly makes the films that he really wants to make in between the occasional Ocean's 11 franchise-mover.

When you've earned the clout that he has since 1989'S sex, lies, and videotape, that creative immunity isn't something to question. I knew only the bare essentials about The Girlfriend Experience prior to this trailer----that it was about a high-price call girl (played by porn star Sasha Grey, she of Sasha Grey's Anatomy fame; a title so obvious, yet so oddly clever) who specializes in engaging her clients in conversation and companionship more than just turning sexual tricks. But being a call girl, she never knows who exactly she's about to spend hours at a time with, which opens the plot up to either tragedy or some other less-morbid type of conflict. My plan is to catch this one at next week's Tribeca Film Festival, if possible, so I'll hopefully find out the answer then.



The response from Sundance has been largely positive, with some reviews singling out the intimacy of Soderbergh's story and direction, others acknowledging how he's managed to merge his independent sensibilities with his mainstream chops, and the rest of showing love to Grey's natural, revelatory performance. Looks like we have a winner on deck, so keep an eye out for The Girlfriend Experience when it opens in New York City limited release on May 22.

The Hurt Locker is ready to stuff your adrenaline inside it

The official full trailer for Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker has finally materialized, and it's as great as I was hoping. There's a difference between this trailer anticipation and others, however----I had the privilege of seeing an early media screening of The Hurt Locker last month, and I feel confident in saying that the film immediately secured a spot in my inevitable "Best Films of 2009" list. Give the trailer a look:



Bigelow (she of Point Break and Strange Days notoriety and film world respect-receiving) has pulled off something that I'd thought impossible, that being an Iraq War-set film that manages to entertain, captivate, and even inspire some thought without coming off as if she's drunk on pints of preachy sentiment. Films such as Stop-Loss and In the Valley of Elah have their merits, sure, but audiences obviously wanted little to do with the "the war's effects on its soldiers is scarring, so pay attention" arch of those failed efforts. The Hurt Locker treats itself as a pure action suspense show, a superb one at that.

I'll delve into the film more closer to its limited June release, but just know that The Hurt Locker is definitely one to place high atop your looking-forward-to film list. Bigelow pulls off some seriously tense, seat-clenching setpieces, and the acting from all involved (especially the beast that is Jeremy Renner here, and the underappreciated Anthony Mackie) is A+ quality.

Get ready.

Simon Cowell joined by some other, cooler Basterds

Of all the places in the world to premiere new behind-the-scenes and actual film footage for the next Quentin Tarantino flick, American Idol is probably the last outlet I would've ever expected. But that's exactly what happened last night when Tarantino guested on Idol to direct the remaining contestants' performances. Whatever that means, exactly. I'm one of the ten or so people in this country who doesn't routinely watch the show, so I can't say what QT-directed performances of glossy pop wannabes looked like, or sounded like.

If I had known Tarantino was going to be on Idol, though, I would have tuned in, or at least set the DVR. I'm a big fan like that. Fortunately, we have this little tool called the Internet these days that spares people like me from having to sit through American Idol just to get the 40-second goods we clicked in to see: some new Inglourious Basterds footage. And boy does this one keep looking cooler and cooler. Sure, I'm, as I just said, a huge fan of the guy, so maybe I'm biased to some degree. But you can't watch the final seconds of this footage, with guns blazing and the set erupting into an inferno of anarchy, and not get gassed, even a tad.



If money weren't a thing and I had my passport primed and ready, I'd totally hop on a plane and crash the Cannes Film Festival, just to see Inglourious Basterds nice and early. And if they didn't let me in after going through all that globe-trotting trouble, I'd be forced to grab a gattling gun and make like Freaks and Geeks alum Sam Levine in the above footage. Those monstrous weapons look heavy---good thing I've been busting out those push-ups.

***I didn't notice at first, but after watching this footage again, I've realized that this clip gives us our first look at Mike Myers' character, General Ed Fenech, a product of heavy makeup. Talk about going incognito. I could be wrong, but I'm willing to bet dividends that this is indeed Myers:

Antichrist trailer, using Willem Dafoe's natural creepiness to its advantage

Every now and then, courtesy of some cosmic alignment that pushes forth creativity and artistic focus, a trailer comes along for a new, under-the-zeitgeist genre film that backhands my senses and leaves me standing at attention. This here is one of those.

Lars Von Trier's Antichrist, a film that I've heard rumblings about for months now but haven't been able to land on any exact plot or concept. Which is pretty much still the case after watching this first trailer, though the overall grim and hallucinogenic atmosphere cancels out any frustration or shoulder-shrugging. I've read that the story plays on a "What If" scenario of Satan creating our world, not God. So then, something to do with forces of Mother Nature wreaking supernatural havoc, possibly. Or a "crazy lady violently spiraling down her own wormhole" procedural, flipped on its head, even. Whatever the case is ultimately, you'll still have Willem Dafoe being Willem Dafoe, and that's never a disadvantage.

Check it:


Lars von Trier's Antichrist - Official Trailer from Zentropa on Vimeo.

As IMDB puts it: A grieving couple retreats to their cabin 'Eden' in the woods, hoping to repair their broken hearts and troubled marriage. But nature takes its course and things go from bad to worse.

Well, that clears things up. Slightly.

This Lars Von Trier fella has earned heaps of goodwill with his past films, including Dogville and Dancer in the Dark, but unfortunately I've yet to see any of the Copenhagen, Denmark native's past works. Netflix will soon remedy that. Even though I can't personally attest to the man's skills, I can still conjur up massive excitement over a respected, visually-strong, critically-saluted filmmaker tackling the horror stuff, which doesn't happen very often. And when it does, you get films such as Frank Darabont's The Mist, or Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. Point made, and then some.

Antichrist will be making its way around the international film festival circuit throughout the year. Meaning, I won't get to see it until early 2010. Fucker.