God-awful, times four

This was inevitable, I guess. Watchmen fever is in full swing, I understand, but explain me this: what's the point of introducing Watchmen character Halloween costumes nearly eleven months away from the holiday, one month before the film even comes out? Insult to injury alert: not only are these premature---they're absolutely horrible. The kinds of costumes that immediately cause drunk lookers-on in Halloween-open-bars to heckle and harass, and all the Sexy Nurse and Sexy French Maid chicks to turn both their upper and lower cheeks away. Maybe the Silk Spectre-dressed girls will be attracted, but even that's a Stretch Armstrong.

Though, part of me knows I'd totally consider wearing the Rorschach one. To shame. He's the one with the beige trenchcoat, hat, and white/black-shifting mask. A drunk me would so approach drunk and hot girls on some "Hrrrrm, baby. I can make you say hrrrrmm." You'll get this Hrrm business once you see the movie, assuming it just zoomed above the forehead.


--In order of disgraceful appearance: Nite Owl, Rorschach, Ozymandias, The Comedian

Don't judge Watchmen foolishly off of these. In both the original text and this new new film, the characters look five million times cooler.

Topless Robot's hilarious-but-ironically-honest headline says it all: "Seriously Stop It, or Alan Moore's Going To Kill Somebody"; Alan Moore wrote the Watchmen graphic novel, and is notoriously against film versions and merchandising bastardizations of his work. Hates the notion of this upcoming film. Is most likely loading an AK-47 in anticipation of the first little trick-or-treater who'll knock on his door dressed in that abysmal Comedian costume. Parents, steer clear of the Moore residence. Please.

Costumes first spotted over at the brilliantly-named: Topless Robot