"What are ya, one of those health nuts or somethin'? Go fuck yaself."

My Uncle Greg has/d this theory years back. Not sure if he formulated it up himself or if it's some "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" pop culture mythos, but he's the one who'd tell me it, so it's his in my book. Right, Stuntman Mike?

He'd say, knowing that we both share(d) an affinity for curvish Latina beauties, "No matter what time of day, weekend or weekday...if you turn on the Spanish television channel, you'll see a sexy lady within ten seconds." To this day, this theory has proven legit.

In that same spirit, I've devised my own: "At any time of any given day, you can find The Departed on a cable movie network. You just have to keep looking." It's always on, two or three times every day, like clockwork, even more so than cable's two current staples, Remember the Titans or The Last Dragon.

I'm watching it at this very moment, in fact. No complaints, though. It may go down in history as the most instantly watchable, can't-change-the-channel-once-you-come-across-it movies ever. At least 'tis the case for me. Keeps getting better, every single time I see it, to paraphrase Beetlejuice.

Said theory aside, how fuckin' sexy is Vera Farmiga in it? I've seen her in other films (I stand by the feeling that Joshua is criminally underrated), and she's no slouch on the eyes, but never has she appeared so sensual and take-me-now to the senses as she does in The Departed. That quick glimpse of her in the skivvies, on the bed, with lucky Leo = a body to cry for. And then there's faux Boston accent. All I'd need to hear is "Paakk ya carrr in me, baaby," and it'd be On like Power.



My caaar is staatted, baby.