Trailers for two upcoming January-release flicks popped up online this morning, making me a feel a little bit better after dropping $4.50 for a measly cup of Chai Tea, just because I left home sans jacket and needed something to warm my freezing ass up (fuck you, Starbucks, and your overpriced lattes).
First up: My Bloody Valentine 3D
--Not ashamed to admit it, I own the original 1981 My Bloody Valentine on DVD.....got it for five bucks at some seedy DVD shop downtown. Worth all five bucks, too. A poorly-made, ridiculous, but all-the-more-fun-for-being-so '80s slasher. Not exactly begging to be remade, but since the OG version wasn't very good anyway, I'm all for a remake of this one. Plus, they've gone and made this one in 3D! Fireballs roaring into the audience; whatever those blade-like tools miners use, whizzing (or wizzing, however its spelled) past your skull. Hot girls, "dreamy" guys (including that dude from Supernatural). Last notion, sarcastic, of course.
This one looks like guilty-pleasure fun, perfect for the dumping ground of whatever-movies that is mid-to-late January. Check it:
...and speaking of January dumping ground releases.....
Next up: Notorious
--I really want to be excited about this one, I swear....a biopic of one of the greatest rappers ever (notice I said "one," because I'm not one of the Biggie-is-the-G.O.A.T. people; he's great, sure, but I'll argue all day that he's not even in my top like eight of all time....**ducks for cover as tomatoes fly his way**). But this movie is looking a whole-lot suspect, based off what I've seen. Sure, Derek Luke and Anthony Mackie are quality actors, but can you even tell that they're supposed to be Puffy and 2Pac here? And dude playing Biggie, Jamal "Gravy" Woolard, actually looks less like Big now after having seen this full trailer than I thought he did.
I don't know, this trailer isn't cutting the mustard, though it's certainly stronger than that pure-shitty teaser that came out a month or so ago. But I'll keep fingers crossed. See and judge for yourself:
Escape Room (2019)
1 week ago