Joaquin Phoenix is becoming a rapper......I shit you not

My better judgment wants to write this one off as an inventive joke, but, ummm, nope. I've read it on a bunch of different websites, all credible and reliable. So this seems legit, unfortunately.

Joaquin Phoenix, the highly talented actor that he is, announced his "retirement" from acting like a month or so ago. But having been jaded by a slew of celebs' pseudo-retirements in the past, I chalked it up to bullshit. Phoenix is one of the more eccentric cats in Hollywood, no doubt, and always gives interviews bordering on the line of "druggie trying to piece together at least one rational thought." But damn if I never saw this one coming. I'll just let the reporters at JoBlo tell it, which is where I found the picture below, as well:

"Uhh okay pardon me if this doesn't make any sense but I just did a whole lot of LSD and drank 3 gallons of Tide, so I may not be thinking straight.

We all know that Joaquin Phoenix quit the acting biz, and we all saw those photos of him recently that have us thinking that man is stark, raving mad. But did we all know that dude is cutting a rap record? And that P Diddy is producing it? And that his first performance is in a few days in Las Vegas? Is this real, or is this the Tide taking effect? Please tell me it's the Tide.
Joaquin's good buddy Casey Affleck is intent on proving that all this is actually going down, and has decided to document it with a camera--an endeavor that will eventually lead to a documentary, that will eventually lead to a standing ovation at Sundance, that will finally lead to Phoenix winning the second posthumous Oscar in as many years (Go Heath!).

Hey Casey: You're a bad friend."



So yeah, this is apparently happening. Casey Affleck has become one of the more exciting actors around, and I'd much rather he film his starring role in The Killer Inside Me (an adaptation of a pretty great, dark book) than follow the drugged-out exploits of MC Joaquin. But I'll at least hope that the resulting documentary (if one ever does come out of this bizarre turn of events) provides delirious laughter, which all signs are pointing to "yes" for at the moment.

See, this is why I love the entertainment business. Just when you're starting to feel like things are getting too predictable, Joaquin Phoenix begins a rap career overseen by Diddy. You know who must be pissed, though? That white dude Kain, remember him? Signed to Bad Boy, got on that one Dream single, and then faded into obscurity. I'd imagine Phoenix, if he were to sign to Bad Boy (fingers crossed) would catch a better one than that.

The name of his debut album: Walk the Cocaine Line

In stores Nevuary 34th