Orphan, yet another killer-kid flick.....excited yet?

For my money, there has really only been three genuinely great "scary/demon-y kid" movies: The Omen (1976), David Cronenberg's The Brood (1979), and 2007's Joshua. Granted, a few generally respected ones I've yet to see, so this is just based off the creepy-tyke films I can attest to knowing firsthand. (Not sure if Alice, Sweet Alice counts, but if so that'd be a close fourth place.) The problem I have with these films is that I'm just not scared of little kids, in the slightest. Like Chucky in the Child's Play flicks, tiny assailants strike me as the pussiest of all---why not just punt the little fucker and call it a day?

The thought of yet another "kid with devilish secrets" addition has me yawning and then wondering if I'll get to slide into an Inglourious Basterds media screening or not, which gives this new film Orphan a huge point deducted. This trailer that I just came across, though, has more punch than I expected, so it's off to a positive start, at least. Its leads, Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, are both far from slouches, so you'd think that two respectable actors wouldn't sign on to something poisoned by a shitty script. Of course, hell can happen during filming and/or post-production that's out of their hands, but if the script is strong enough, there's potential to be had. I can also partially appreciate the choice to have it be an evil girl rather than a boy, which is rare for whatever reason(s).

Hunches say that this one will suck, but I'm willing to give it a shot. More than I could've said two hours ago.

ORPHAN trailer in HD


Problem Child (The Horror Remix), basically.

Hold up....I just learned that Orphan's director, Jaume Collet-Serra, has only directed one other genre flick, and it was that fairly-wack House of Wax remake with Paris Hilton. Hilton's death scene was kinda solid, but otherwise that ish did nothing for me. Orphan is his follow-up, eh? Ruh roh!