Friday, February 27, 2009

For the love of all that's "holy," shut the fuck up

Is the general public even aware that the cable channel G4 even exists? It falls on channel ## 175 in my cable option, as it has for a good three years or so. For lovers of video game culture, sci-fi movies, the old show COPS, and basic nerd nirvana fodder, G4 is basically a Playboy Channel that their parents will actually let them watch. The only reason why I ever learned of its existence, though, has nothing to do with the fact that I am, at heart, an appreciator of such culture.

For me, it was all about the first time I laid eyes on Olivia Munn, courtesy of that homerun cover shoot she did with Complex mag a couple years back. Munn, a co-host on G4's comical, enjoyable nerd news program Attack of the Show, blindsided my eyes instantly; I wondered, "Who is this chick, and where has she been all my life?" Working for G4 for two of my life's years, at least. The thing that I, and all others who pledge allegiance to comic books and not-so-sexy culture, love about her is that she's a Maxim cover-worthy looker who just happens to be one of "us," a trait that she wears like a favorite shirt. Dressing up as Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, or whatever other fantasy lady character comes to mind. Spitting off deep knowledge of the Marvel and DC universes. You get the drift.


Well, since they must have nothing else to complain about for the time being, some overly-sensitive, need-to-worry-about-more-important-things-like-child-molesting-priests Christian blowhards have targeted Munn as some sort of misleading prostitute. Total, utter bullshit, of course. Here's the defense from

"This female acts like she is into gaming, cartoons and nerds. What she is doing is, using this wool to lure young men into watching her and then she starts using her devil powers to expose them to breasts, uncovers legs, mouth sex acts, sexual suggestions and other unholy things.
Even her website is full of scum and sin. She posts photos of her half naked and posts videos partaking in simulated sexual acts. On her 'blog' she tries to act like she is an every women, who loves regular men. We all know she is using this on youth to gain ratings and to drive traffic to her website, when in reality she is doing drugs with her high dollar pimps.

Really, going after Olivia Munn of all people? No wonder I haven't gone to church in like five years and Bill Maher's Religulous preached to my choir like spot-on lecturing. "Full of scum and sin," they say. "Her devil powers," they call her natural hotness. Seems that the dangerous minds over at Christwire have never seen a magazine rack, or turned on a TV. As if Olivia Munn is doing anything that 95% of the rest of pop culture isn't.

Why not allow reclusive, antisocial kids bask in her looks and dream about reading TKTK with her while lying in their bed with those Batman bedsheets? No girl who looks like Munn will ever do such a thing with them in real life. And isn't part of being a kid the ability to have an imagination? I know that when I was a teenager, my weekly "hangout" sessions with Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and "Faith" (Eliza Dushku) were great ways for me to cope with the sad then-facts that the "hot girls" in school didn't give me the time of day. When you're as into shit that others could deem as "weird" or "geek," your thoughts can easily veer toward "I'm a loser," or "Nobody will ever find this attractive." So having an Olivia Munn around to give these kids the "You're cool just the way you are" cosign seems much more productive than destructive.

Don't expect to hear about me attending church any time soon, as long as nonsense like this keeps surfacing. I here at Barone's World celebrate Miss Olivia Munn. So much so that I'm about to post some of my favorite Munn pics, so that I can sit here and dream about meeting her at the AMC Times Square theater next Friday night, where we'd hold hands while taking in Watchmen on IMAX before shifting over to Red Lobster for some cheesy biscuits, then grabbing a few cocktails at whatever bar is nearest. Because she totally seems like she'd be all about such an evening.

Just to lighten things up a bit, since it feels like I wrote this from a stance of "anger" more than my true "agitated yet mostly just amused by the stupidity" vibe, let's cap this off with.....


If these are shots of her "doing drugs with high-dollar pimps," she can be my dealer any time, any day, any way.

News first spotted over at: Warming Glow

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