"Love Shutdown"

The following has to be said, if not for any other reason than to state my peace before apologists and D-riders alike tirelessly defend the song's merits and try to convince yours truly that its a "creative, next level" exercise in artistic limitless-ness.

But here's the bottom line, because M.B. said so: Kanye West's new song, "Love Lockdown," is fucking terrible. Ear-tainting repello. Audible horror. Insert any other pairing of words describing "music" and "inferior."

It's basically "T-Pain singing over a clusterfuck of a Europop instrumental, as performed underwhelmingly by Kanye West." When I first heard it last week in my co-worker's office, I honestly thought it was a goof. "This can't really be his new single," I wondered to myself. But then the song continued.....and West kept singing horribly....and the beat started adding in new irritating and muffled sounds....and then West faux-sang some more....and then I started shaking my head in a torrent of confusion, disgust, and an ounce of humor.

Fucking T-Pain has anybody with vocal chords thinking they can sing. Give T-Painful credit for that, at least. He's changed the game, single-handedly. For the worse, of course, but changed it nonetheless.

I know, I know....Kanye West is full of emotion here, and the words seem heartfelt enough. But conviction and genuine feeling don't cancel out the fact that the song sucks. He can't sing worth a shit, the lyrics are far from impressive, and the beat is just downright grating.

I've never been a huge fan of West as a rapper, but here, I'd gladly rather he spit some hokey punchlines. At least when he delivers goofy raps with conviction, I can tolerate them because his production is usually great and he can flow a bit. But this singing shit of his has to go. Now.

They're saying that his new album is called 808s & Heartbreak.......which leads me to believe that it could very well be an entire album of cry-baby, whiny, "I miss my girlfriend," emo bullshit. All shitty singing, from Intro to Outro. Dear God, if this ends up being the case, I may not even download it for free.

It's been said many a time already on the respective blogs and AIM status lines of several colleagues of mine already today, but I'll say it on my own here: Rappers, for the love of all that's listenable, stop singing. Or trying to sing. You're a rapper, and you get paid tons of money to write words that rhyme together. Stick to that script. Leave the singing to dudes like Ne-Yo.

"Love Lockdown," if I never hear you again, I'll die a happy man.

Points do, though, go to Kanye West for being a bit daring and shaking his artistic cage a bit. It just didn't work, man. So go back to your old formula, por favor.

The audio travesty itself:

**M.B. Note: so every clip of the song playing on Youtube has been taken down, by the record label, I'd presume. Copyright reasons, surely, but I'd like to think its because even they know the song smells foul. Wishful thinking.