Netflix Fix -- Diabolique

Watching horror movie after movie these days, courtesy of the 'Flix, I must say, my mind is seriously opening. Becoming a much more seasoned and wiser viewer, I am. I'm realizing that even if a "horror/thriller" movie doesn't exactly outright horrify and/or thrill me, per say, doesn't mean that the film has even-in-the-least-bit failed.



Case in point, Diabolique (the name given here in the States; when it was originally released back in 1955, however, it was Les Diaboliques, or, "The Devils"), a great old school French flick. The stories and critical word on this one are unanimously ecstatic, hailed as a true classic of the genre and even cited in the same league as Alfred Hitchcock's best work. Directed by a dude named Henri-Georges Clouzot, its one of those minimalist treasures---focusing more on character and narrative rather than spectacle or parlor tricks. And having now seen it, I've already cited about ten films in my head that owe a great deal of inspiration and attribution to Diabolique: examples being...Wild Things, Shallow Grave, and A Simple Plan.

Michel Delassalle is the principal of a private boarding school, and he's one giant scumbag. A real son-of-a-bitch, who treats his wife,a teacher named Christina, like dogshit, constantly belittling her verbally and openly cheating on her with another employee of the institution, Nicole. This slimebucket even treats Nicole like ass, so the two gals team up to murder the stone-cold womanizer. Their plan is pretty slick, too---spike his wine, drown him in a bathtub while he's passed out, and then dump his body in the on-campus pool, leaving no signs of struggle, making it all look like a fell-in-the-pool accident. Only, his body disappears from the pool, and signs of his presence (he's checked into a local hotel; his suit shows up in his wife's room; one of the students claims to have had a convo with him) pop up like heated kernels. Is his ghost on the prowl? He's surely dead (right?), so what the fuck is really happening?



The way this thing unfolds is a great lesson in subdued storytelling. Very little in the way of spooks and creeps takes place ultimately, but the small macabre touches are really effective. For instance, towards the end of the flick, the entire school takes an outdoor picture standing next to the building, and once the pic is developed, the wife notices Michel's spectre hovering in a window. And the film's infamous conclusion is a doozy of understated heebie-jeebies. The money-shot, long praised amongst film critics' circuits and genre enthusiasts, isn't necessarily a total surprise, but it still packs a bit of the good ol' gut-punch.

The only real problem I had here was that Diabolique is a bit overlong. Runs at five minutes shy of two hours. Easily could've trimmed 10, 15 60-second clips (or minutes...I just hate repeating words so close to one another. A bit OCD, I know) off, and wouldn't have suffered. A couple stretches seem to drag, particularly when this random detective enters the scene and does a bit of snooping around. He's super suspicious, and rightfully so. The wife's nerves are worn on her sleeve, though, showing that she's clearly guilty of something. But this game of "he knows I did it, but I must keep my composure, even though I'm losing my mind" is initially gripping, but loses its luster after about 10 minutes.

Actng across the board is pretty solid, especially by Paul Meurisse, who plays Michel. Hits all the right notes of douchebag-ery nicely. And the director's wife, Vera Clouzot, also scores as the battered and wavering wife, not to mention that she's damn hot, even in black-and-white.



Diabolique is definitely one for us film buffs, cinema lovers who crave great stories and appreciate when patience is practiced and exposition is held in high regard. There's zero blood shed and a scarcity of scares, so if you judge your genre fare on such shallow ground, go rent one of those hammer-over-the-head subtle Saw flicks. Masterful filmmaking and dandy scriptwork more than makes up for limited shrieks here.

Also worth noting....Diabolique is one of the original "keep your fucking mouth shut and don't reveal the ending" movies ever, where posters and press urged audiences to leave the theater with lips firmly sealed. And for good reason, because as I mentioned above, the ending is a hands-down winner. Didn't completely fool me, but still succeeded nonetheless.

Note, number two....Going into this one, I'd totally forgot that Diabolique was an early victim of the American-remake virus. Redone in 1996, starring Sharon Stone. Shit-tastic reviews show that this version was a true piece of fecal matter. Urine in celluloid form. I've never seen it, nor will I ever.


[sexy Vera Clouzot...is it weird to lust after an actress in a black-and-white film made over 50 years ago? No, says I. When you're fine, you're fine. End of story]

**Only like six or seven horror flicks left in the early section of my Queue before the genre shifts more to drama.

Yes, I do intend to watch more than just horror. Just don't expect any Disney or PG-ratings up in this bitch. "That's just not how I'm built." (anybody catch that last Jerry Maguire reference?? The endlessly-enjoyable Tom Cruise gem has been on TV all weekend, and I've watched it twice during this time-frame. I can admit it---when Zellwegere says, "You had me at 'Hello,'" I get a bit ferklempt. Man enough to admit it.)