Animal Instincts

Man, I really love dogs. I mean, how could you not? Which brings me to one of my ultimate pet peeves, a thing that a mere mention of sends me into a silent rage = people hurting dogs. You know the stories. Some asshole throws a dog out of a speeding car window because the neglected pooch is barking too much. Some jerkoff leaves his dog in a parked car, windows closed, for hours on end as the animal suffocates slowly and agonizingly. Or others who hit dogs, abuse them, etc.

Which, honestly, is why nine times out of ten, tales of dogs lashing out at humans put a tetched smile on my mug. Cujo-types, now, I don't condone, but those are the minority.

What leads me to this thought pattern is a seeing-eye-dog I was just sharing a PATH train cart with, a cute and extremely-well-behaved Black Lab. His owner, a middle-aged blind man, was a bit overbearing for my tastes, yanking at the dog's collar and yelling at it to "walk straight" even though the dog was walking as straight as an arrow. I get it: dude didn't want the dog to lead him onto an empty train track, and since he can't see, he was a bit more on the cautious side than you or I would be in the situation. But still, this dog clearly loved this guy, and is basically living every breathing moment of its life in service of him, wholeheartedly. Dude hopefully appreciates that shit.

Think about it---would any of us live our entire lives in the assistance of somebody less fortunate? Doubtful. But dogs do it regularly, and to me, that makes their species worthy of my praise and admiration. And if I ever happen across some jackass causing harm to a dog, a much smaller creature, I'm gonna let my dogs out all over their face. And by "my dogs," I mean the arm muscles I've been grooming with my trusty dumbbells sitting right beside me here in my room. "Oh feel the burn! It's so deep! I can't lift my arm because I've done so many.....watch out, they'll get ya. They'll get ya."