In Preparation For Possible Quarantine-Inspired Hate And Jeers.....

I've been thinking....my hype-machine-work of this Friday's horror flick Quarantine will ultimately spell more "doom" than "big-ups" for yours truly. And I'm totally fine with this. One of the running themes between friends and myself has been the whole "that movie sucked, Matt" jabbing, as if just because I've said that I like a film, or that I think it looks cool, that permits any-and-everybody to come down on me if the movie doesn't know their socks off.

It's funny to me, of course, and doesn't piss me off. Just preconditions me a bit, especially now in the specialized Quarantine case.



In an effort to admonish myself of all impending pies-to-face, I've decided to just put it all out there, before the movie even comes out....sort of how B-Rabbit did during that final battle sequence in 8 Mile....throwing all of the haters' ammo right back at them before they themselves have an opportunity to use it.

Here goes:

1) I already realize that Quarantine won't top the box office this weekend. Not that I think it should or even needs to. Strong box office, of course, doesn't equal actual film quality. Just look at last weekend's number one--Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Sure, Chihuahua is probably shamefully fun, but a good cinematic endeavor? Highly doubtful....Plus, there's that Russell Crowe/Leo DiCaprio/Ridley Scott CIA-happy thriller Body of Lies opening on Friday, and I'd be willing to place duckets down on it opening Numero Uno. It actually looks good, too, so I'm not mad at it. And it'll most likely be followed by that damn Chihuahua, who'll bark up some substantial second-week figures. Then, there's the wild cards of City of Ember and The Express, both flicks catering to two specific demos, and could sneak in and cake up nicely. All this goes to say that, Quarantine is far from a surefire triumph. But I don't think the budget is very tall, so it should still be successful, even if only modestly.

2) This one's most crucial to realize....Quarantine is a quintessential Matt Barone film. Meaning, this is the exact kinda film I get excited about, and see on opening day, and (assuming it doesn't suck) go back and see a few more times before copping on DVD and re-watching specific scenes to endless degrees. I've had people consistently hitting me on some "You seen the commercials for that Quarantine shit? As soon as I saw it, I thought of you. Seems like some shit you'd love." And that's spot-on analysis.

So, my friends and whoever reads this, only see Quarantine if you share even the slightest shred of dark-appreciation. I promise y'all: the movie that Quarantine is an Americanized version of, Spain's [Rec], is undeniably amazing. So my excitement for this one is solely based around the potential that a bigger-budget and longer-running-time presents to [Rec]. And if Quarantine ends up being shit, I'll always have [Rec] to love, and to show on DVD to friends eventually, just to prove that I wasn't buggin'.

3) It's going to take a catastrophic failure in the scope of The Love Guru for me to actually dislike Quarantine. I can admit this, openly. What can I say--I'm a total sucker for zombie movies. Though, this isn't exactly a "zombie" movie, but it has all of the essential elements that I love: multiple monster-ish, flesh-eating villains; people trapped inside a claustrophobic space while under relentless siege. Toss in the whole handheld camera asthetic (something about the whole Blair Witch, Cloverfield approach really registers for me), and such hotties as Jennifer Carpenter and Dania Ramirez, not to mention actors I typically find charismatic (Columbus Short and Jay Hernandez), and Quarantine seems to have all the potent ingredients for my viewing pleasure.

In closing, I offer this: I really don't give a fuck if people love or hate Quarantine. It's not going to be a film for everybody; just one for folks such as myself. And its the rare "remake" that I actually cosign, only for the notion that, at the least, it'll bring [Rec] to the attention of Americans who'd otherwise never even know it exists.

Your opinions of the film may be whatever to me, but do understand--if I end up feeling hatred, or even indifference, toward the flick, my face shall mirror this character's for a good week, maybe even a month, 'til the sting washes away:



Won't be a pretty sight.