Netflix Fix -- Aftermath

Actually, while I'm here seated in front of the laptop, digesting the Papa Johns goodness, I might as well drop some thoughts quickly on a short film I watched earlier, courtesy of the 'Flix (no real reason to abbreviate Netflix like that, just makes me look like a real corn, but oh well, what's done is done). This isn't going to be one of my usual in-depth reactions, just a quick brainstorm. Watched it like seven hours ago now, but its still fresh in my head, mainly because as I'm thinking about it now, I feel like spewing up some of my pizza. Shit was just plain old filthy, gross, and wrong (the short film, not Big Papa, that is).



Its called Aftermath, and its from Spain. Written and directed by this sick summa-da-bitch named Nacho Cerda, who I've read about being this highly-regarded champ of Spanish horror cinema. So of course, that's all my easily-intrigued ass needed to consult the 'Flix (there it is again) and toss his resume in my Queue (that's how its spelled, right? What the fuck is a "queue" anyway? Is that a word used anywhere else outside of the 'Flix? If so, I must look like a baffoon right now. Oh well. It just seems like a bit of phonetic rubbish to me).

So back to Aftermath....my first experience with Cerda was actually watching a first esxperience of his own---his first full-length feature, this creepy, surreal, largely flawed but ultimately sick-enough-for-me-to-love flick called The Abandoned, which was released in US theaters for like 49 hours early last year, earning a whopping $31.50 or so, I think, my $10.50 being a third of that, with the remainder coming from those two other weirdos in attendance with me. I now own The Abandoned on DVD, and maybe I'll rewatch it soon and write about it here some time. Or maybe not......cliffhanger, bitches?

[poster for The Abandoned, which, by the way, has quite possibly the coolest moment in a horror movie ever that features pigs. I'll have to think back a bit to fact-check such a declaration, but I'm pretty sure its spot-on]


So yes, I greatly enjoyed The Abandoned, so once I joined the 'Flix, Cerda's infamous short flick Aftermath was pushed to the top of Q-word with the quickness. Finally reached it in my list, and perused all 31-nasty-mins of it earlier. And man, what the fuck did I just watch? Like, I've seen plenty of shit that's made me question my own sanity and moral code. But this Aftermath....a whole new level of "maybe I am a sick fuck after all" reached, my friends.

There's no plot, really, or even a semblance of a narrative. At least not one that has any real conflict. Basically, you have these two dudes who work in a mortuary, and one happens to be a necrophiliac who gets off on blood, guts, and all kinds of wrongness. So after his partner leaves, and after our main nutjob cleans out a dead dude who looks like Adrien Brody with an ill mustache, the corpse-cleaner locks the door, and proceeds to go to town, sexually, on a deceased chick. Cutting her open. Jamming a knife into her hoo-hah. Beating his meat while rubbing her intestines. Photographing the gory carcass. And then, in his grand finale, he has intercourse with the slab of no-longer-breathing female meat on the table. And then he wraps her up, files her, goes home, feeds his dog some blood-soaked meat, and reads a paper. The end. Seriously. There may be some hidden shit going on, but not sure if I'm going to rush to watch this one again any time soon.



Now, with all that sick stuff said.....here's the kicker. I actually liked Aftermath. I know, I know. I'm twisted, and many of y'all who read this will look at me in a much darker light now knowing that I enjoyed a movie where a dude slapped the salami to a dead girl (now, we didn't see the salami....that much needs to be emphasized here, for rep's sake, at the very least). But my enjoyment here stems 100% from an artistic standpoint. Yes, there was art at work here. Tons, in fact.

First, Cerda stages this entirely as a silent movie....well, silent in the sense that there's zero dialogue. It's not totally mute, though, being that there is tons of music and score, comprised mostly of classical symphonies and compositions. A really clever and bizarre mish-mash of visual depravity and audible beauty. A slick pairing, for sure. And then, the way Cerda' camera frames every scene is really well done. Close-ups pan out slowly; the focus casually glides across the truly disgusting imagery, not stressing them but rather just treating them as natural things.

But I'll admit: there was a few moments in Aftermath where I nearly shut the DVD off, and simply for the fact of giving me such urges, Aftermath is a winner for me. If it had been "turn this off" in the sense of "because this shit sucks," I'd be typing a different tune. But it was in the sense of "turn this shit off because I'm not sure I can physically take it anymore." And that, kiddies, is quite the Matt Barone "Thumbs Up" if there ever was one.

Check it out, if you can. If you want to toss up your cookies, especially. Not even Famous Amos could withstand the pressure.

Oh, and before I hit the hay tonight, I'm going to peep Cerda's third, and last on my to-endure list, short called Genesis. Doesn't seem as sick as Aftermath, but has potential to be ten times spookier. Shall report back tomorrow.

And yes, I realize that my earlier "this will be a shorter reaction post, blah blah blah" nonsense turned out to be utter fiction. Sue me.

**If you're feeling brave, or just plain foolish, there's a trailer for Aftermath on Youtube that doesn't censor back some of the money shots. It's rough stuff. Not trying to post the video here, just out of respect of my weak-stomach(ed) readers. You know I love y'all too, now. Don't say I never did anything for y'all.