I Don't Wanna Play.....

Does not playing "the game" make me a loser? I frequently have chats with friends about this, and I'm starting to wonder if my lack of voluntary participation in "the game" is why I'm still living single like Latifah (except I'm a dude, so maybe that wasn't the right name to drop there. Fuck it, whatever). I've just never had any interest in conforming to some bullshit dating standard that strikes fear in the hearts of insecure men and women on a daily....scratch that, hourly basis.

You know the deal. You get a girl's number on a Friday night, while out at the bar and four beers deep. All goes well in the moment: free-flowing conversation, a couple songs danced to together, some nice pleasantries on the way out, pounds and back-pats from friends for having scored another series of digits equaling a phone number. But then you wake up the next morning and the dreaded "game's" rules hit you---when would it be socially acceptable for me to call her? If I call her tonight, will she think I'm overdoing it, or being a bit pushy? Maybe she'll think I'm some lame who never gets girls' numbers, and now that I finally have one, in her eyes, I'm so giddy that I just can't wait to call? How about I wait one full day and call her tomorrow night at precisely 10:08pm, that seems like a reasonable time, huh? Or perhaps I wait a few days and hit her during the week....but what if she's the type who works late, and we'll end up playing phone tag before one or both of us gives up. And then I'll have totally fucked up "the game."

Myself, I don't have the mental energy to endure all of that inner turmoil. So what I do is call the girl whenever the hell I feel in the mood to conduct our inevitably awkward first non-alcoholic-induced conversation. The next day; two days later; whenever the fuck I feel like doing so, I do it. But in turn, maybe some of these girls I'm ringing up are thinking too deeply into my call, and there in lies the problem I have with this dreaded "game." If I call you and you dont want me to call you, just either don't pick up phone, or simply tell me right away that you're not interested, and I'll be on my merry eg-bruised way. I'll only leave one voicemail, if any, so if I never hear back after that first initial effort, then I'm moving on. No harm, no foul.

But what's crazy to me is that all---well, the majority, actually---of my friends and associates who actually do play this stupid "game" seem to have much more success than I in developing serious relationships. And trust, I really do want a relationship of my own, and I live in some fantasy dreamland where, when I do meet "the one," we'll both know it rather painlessly and none of this "game playing" will be remotely necessary. So what I do, as a result, is approach the dating circuit with said mentality firmly intact.....which leads me to believe, then, that I just haven't met "the one" yet, because there seems to have some bit of game-playing with every girl thus far. Whether my calling too soon disinterested them, or my not calling soon or often enough led them to believe it was ME who was disinterested.

Whatever, man. All I know is, I won't be changing my ways any time soon. No "game" for me, ma'am. I'll keep clinging to the hope that I'll soon click with my Ms. Right, and we won't need to conduct ourselves as if we're strategizing a war. War breeds too many casualties. Besides, I'm a lover, not a fighter.