I know, I know---I haven't seen this movie yet. Nobody has, it's probably not even ready to be seen. Post-production hell these days. Nine months away. Plenty of time to string together something that doesn't resemble one of those videos we watched in high school that showed live-action abortions, as cautionary measures. Traumatic, much? But, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to detect impending-suckage, and this one seems potent.
Yes, that is Marlon Wayans.
Okay, so Snake Eyes does look cool enough. As for the other three, though, and practically every other character I've seen from early production pics, not so much. Cardinal sin, number one: they look nothing like my old action figures, and that's a no-no extraordinaire. Since when did Duke and Ripcord resemble SWAT team members?
True, the great, under-appreciated Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Cobra Commander, and eye-candy-du-jour Rachel Nichols is Scarlett. In the end, though, I'm guessing their presence(s) will be futile. Because, after all, this one's directed by Stephen Sommers.....the man behind Van Helsing, which rests comfortably in the canon of "films that'll forever make my blood boil over the mere thought of them." Damn hack.
I rest my case. I'm hoping that this one's at least entertaining, but again, the hunch is gloomy. At best.
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