So Much For Scholarships....

Maybe it's because I have a niece now, a cool-as-all-hell, two-and-nine-month old barrel of awesome named Gianna....but stories like this actually grind my gears a bit all of the sudden.

So there's this 22-year-old chick named Natalie Dylan, for those who haven't heard about this yet, who is basically slutting herself out for what she seems to believe is a good cause.



Basically, she needs to pay for grad school or some shit, so she's selling her virginty to the highest bidder. And the whole shebang (emphasis on "bang") is being hosted by that haven of debauchery and wall-to-wall whoo-ahs out in Nevada, The Bunny Ranch.

It was originally thought that this whole mess was being put on by Howard Stern, a rumor that of course was easy to buy into....turns out Stern isn't the pimp here, its whoever runs the Ranch.

This chick is taking polygraph tests, and other highly scientific procedures, to prove that she is in fact a virgin. Smart move, being that she's actually pretty fuckin' hot, and I personally found it hard to believe that a girl as smoking as her would still cling tightly to her V-card. The cherry is still ripe, sort of speak.



And naturally, horny guys with little shame and large bank accounts have already set the bidding war ablaze, with the tally so far up to like $275,000 just to spend time with Ms. Dylan and (I'd sure as hell hope) lay the pipe. See, she claims that this isn't all about money, and that she's going to make sure that the guy gets along with her, and that it's somebody she isn't disgusted or sickened by.....

Right? She better watch her ass, then. Say some poor dumbass drops like $300,000 just to stake his claim on her cherry, sort of speak, but then she has dinner with him and decides, "Nah, kick rocks, loser." Dude would be liable to smack a bitch, I'd think.

My main issue here, though, is how fucking lame men are that they'd pay any sum of finance to have sex with this girl. I mean, sure, she's pretty sexy, and she's untainted goods. But shit, $275,000?!?!?! Paying for sex never makes sense to me, honestly, so I have deeper confusion-heavy issues at play here.

Besides, isn't this really a form of prostitution? Kind of illegal? Probably not....I'm sure that I'm missing some sort of loophole, or whatever law being enforced in my head isn't in reality an actual law to break.

The respect I have for Natalie Dylan is small, really, simply for the fact that she's selling her purity in a public domain. But I can't help but respect her business savvy....if only ever-so slightly. She knows she's gorgeous, and she knows that the male gender is pretty much blinded by sweet tail, so why not put herself through grad school by stealing some lame's hard-earned paper? She could very well just ditch the poor fool once the sexy times have ended. Kick him out of bed, show him the exit, and count her money that was most likely earned after about three minutes of actual physical interaction, sexually. Talk about "easy" money.

But that respect only lasts so long.....I guess I'm most bothered by how the media has turned this into an actual news item. Why? Maybe because idiots such as myself will discuss it. And sex sells, now and forever. But man is this a sad time we live in, when bullshit such as The Hills is must-see-TV and churns out talent-less drones of celebrities, and when some over-the-hill blowhard like John McCain could damn well be our next leader.

What to do, what to do.....