Gotta Eat

A bit shameful to admit in a public forum, but M.B. can't cook food worth a lick. The basics--grilled cheese, pasta, Lean Cuisines--aren't a problem; it's really just everything else in the culinary stratosphere. I'm sure if I actually bought one of those fancy Rachel Ray cookbooks, I'd be able to follow the instructions well enough to whip up something that's partially edible. Or, at least, edible enough. But until I bite the bullet and visit Barnes & Noble for such literature, I'm stuck tossing Lean Pockets in my trusty microwave night in and night out. And I do love my Lean pockets quite a bit....nice and light, tons of different recipes, inexpensive. A dream come true for yours truly.

But as I sit here, watching 106 & Park and further depressing myself about the state of hip-hop (Yung Berg is co-hosting, and it's pretty sad watching the audience members react to his lame "swag" and sloppy rapport with robotic yet-still-kinda-cute Rocsi as if he were Will Smith, when you know damn well that each and every one of the attending teenyboppers wishes he were Chris Brown....Yung Berg, haha), the hunger bug is hitting me like a sack of potatoes (hopefully these corny food puns I'm sprinkling throughout this post aren't falling on deaf ears). But, as I investigate my fridge and freezer, all I see are some Lean Pocket boxes and microwavable fish patties (grilled salmon is always a wise choice, though). If I knew how to cook, I'd be flipping on the stove and cooking some chicken stir-fry or something delish.

Now, mind you, I completely understand how lame of a post this is, but hear me out. It actually serves a meaningful purpose....the hope is, I'll look back on this post weeks from now, I'll think, "Wow, how sad was that? I really have to learn how to cook with some finesse and skill, if only to avoid writing a follow-up essay to that waste of words." In fact, I'm going to flip over to The Food Network right now and see what's cookin'. Who knows: maybe tomorrow, I'll even pick up a cookbook while I'm at Borders buying my next graphic novel conquest (Black Hole....I hear its frikkin' brilliant). As for tonight, it's looking like an Italy-meets-Mexico extravaganza of dining....Chicken Parmesan, with a side of Three Cheese Chicken Quesadillas. Those are Lean Pockets, of course.